Crying is for men

I don't like to cry... that's what I've found out recently. That doesn't mean that I don't cry, I cry a lot actually, but I'm not comfortable doing it. I prefer to cry when no one can see or hear me, and even then I try to stop the tears so hard as if my life depends on it. Why do you think that is?

I think it's mostly because I associate crying with weakness. It's wrong, I know, I know... but that's written somewhere down in my unconsciousness. The funny thing though, is that I've always admired men that cried comfortably. I've always told my male friends that crying is not as bad as they think and it's very brave to be able to cry when it helps you in some way. So why is it that I can't accept it as easily myself? Every time I cry, I feel I'm weak and helpless and that the person who's watching me thinks less of me because of that. To summarize my random ranting, I think I believe it would be better if men cried a bit more and women cried a little less. I do need a therapist badly!