blah blah blah...

I hate myself for being so lame and writing only when I’m down… but this seems to be the routine! I’m a bit confused so I’ll be writing “sher o ver” a little… don’t take it seriously (or personally for that matter)!

I think it’s pretty shocking that people can be so selfish… even when they are being nice to you; it’s just for their own freaking sake. They don’t want to feel cruel so basically instead of saying “oh, just get out of my face…”, they make up the nicest story with the most reasonable excuses… but the core is still there and you can’t help but notice it.

God knows I am selfish!… and don’t think I know anyone who’s not. Of course depending on how close you are to someone, you might be willing to sacrifice more of yourself, but that’s like…what?... 5% of the times. The remaining 95% is basically you trying to get what YOU want out of every relationship, every situation... and that is making me sick to my stomach! I want to change the way I am and can’t, so I can’t really expect others to do it… It just makes life harder than what it is, knowing that more than half of your relationships with people is based on mutual “benefit” rather than mutual respect or love or …

Usually during these periods of being down and doubting every thing around me, I start to miss my family even more… I believe they are the only ones giving unconditional love and support without asking for something in return! This has been bugging me for a while…My sad feeling will be over in a couple of days, but it will probably come back… at least as long as I am not proven wrong about what I said!